Being pale could be fun I guess. Say, if you look like a Korean skin care model for instance. Your pearlescent skin is a thing of beauty. Congratulations. Slap on some BB Cream and strut yourself around town. Meanwhile, I’ll be over here putting on my tenth layer of concealer to hide the gigantic blue veins on my forehead (and eye socket, chest, thighs, inner arm area).
SO yeah, I’m pretty much just bathing in concealer nowadays.
I just have very thin skin. No, not just thin, questionably thin. Like, skin akin to that creepy, veiny human anatomy mannequin you see at museums. You know the one I’m talking about? Push the button and all of it’s insides light up? See through skin.
If I ever lose my job in public health I could always donate my body to science as one of those giant dummies. Sexy AND lucrative.
But then there’s the other girls. I’m pointing in your direction, bronzed beauties who can walk the dog for five minutes and look like you’ve been in Hawaii for a week. Is there no justice in this world?
Actually, there is…
Tan In A Bottle!
Don’t be scared of the fake tan. The fake tan shall set you free. Gone are the days of super gross, orange stained hands and blotchy thighs. How, you ask? Let me show you with these amazingly awkward photos and my equally fantastic Sunless Tanning Tips.
1. Exfoliate and Moisturize
DO NOT skip this important rule unless you want to look like you’re wearing a fake tan. Dead, dried out skin cells will absorb the bulk of your tanner. Then when the cells naturally slough off the end result is a splotchy tan that fades in weird, unexpected patterns. You must exfoliate. Pretend you’re getting ready for date number three with Ryan Gosling (a special night) and just scrub your skin off. You’ll be golden. OR an equally excellent technique is Dry Brushing and you can read about it HERE!
2. Use Protection
You can remedy stained hands with a baking soda scrub but who has time for that? Just pick up a box of non-latex gloves from the medical supply section of your grocery store or snag a sweet tanning mitt at pretty much any beauty supply store. Also, using gloves or a mitt prevents excess from being absorbed into your hands which may cause streaking on your bod. I know it feels weird the first few times but do it anyway. You won’t regret it when your tan is flawless.
3. DON’T Be Shy
THE biggest mistake I used to make was the belief that my streaky spots were from too much tanning mousse. It’s actually the opposite. The parts that get streaky are generally the parts where you’ve missed a spot, not over-saturated! Use enough tanner to to get allll of your skin. The only times you can over-do the amount is if you have not properly prep’d and primed those key spots.
4. Apply In Small Segments
Sunless tanning products sink in and dry fast so you don’t have to walk around your home naked for three hours while it dries. Great for convenience but not great for seamless application. Combat the quick dry by applying it in small sections: Face, neck and shoulders, upper arm, forearm, torso, one thigh, one calf…you get the drift. For your back, get a helper or try THIS technique using an old towel to “rub” the tanning mousse all over your backside.
5. Extend The Tan to Your Hands and Feet
Rather than applying the tan directly to your hands and feet, I like to used the tanner from that body part (the forearm for example) and just smooth and blend ONTO the wrist and back of the hand.
6. Smooth and Blend
Long, smooth strokes are key to spreading the tan around. Just keep in mind that you can’t blend it like makeup or lotion. The product sinks in quick and you’re left with the “tint” so you can see what areas you have tanned. My biggest mistake was always trying to smear the tint around without just adding more tanning mousse. If it’s not blending out you likely need to add a bit more product!
Bonus tip because six tips sounds better than seven:
Always apply tanner to a clean and lightly moisturized face. Think of it like contouring. Start at the edges of the face, emphasizing the cheeks, jaw and forehead, then blend inward toward your nose. A little goes a long way, trust me. Let it dry and activate. After four hours you can rinse and apply makeup. Confession- I let it dry and then gently apply my makeup over it when I’m lazy. It hasn’t failed me yet.
I used to swear by St. Tropez and St. Tropez only. I actually still really only use this brand, but that’s because I’m a creature of habit. My lovely, pale skinned beauty of a best friend road tested the off-brand version from Ulta and had gorgeous results. Some of my favorite bloggers swear by THIS one by Tan Wise and THIS spray for your face. It’s all about finding what works for you!